Love Is Lovelier the Second Time Around — with God
Hello Bro. Eli,
I know for a fact that anyone who commits adultery or concubinage commits a grave sin against God and the espouse of that person. My question is how evil is this sin? Can it be forgiven by a human being? How can someone move on from this devastating situation? Can the victim of this sin truly forgive and forget? How can the trust and confidence be brought back if lost by deceit and betrayal? Please give pieces of advice as I have been badly hurt by this trial.
There are things done which are impossible to be undone, but what is impossible with man can be possible to God. God, through His power, can undo what man has done. This was the faith of Abraham.
17 By faith Abraham, when he was tried, offered up Isaac: and he that had received the promises offered up his only begotten son,
18 Of whom it was said, That in Isaac shall thy seed be called:
19 Accounting that God was able to raise him up, even from the dead; from whence also he received him in a figure.
Speaking of human emotion, infidelity of a beloved partner is one of the bitterest situations which some can not bear, resulting most of the times in crimes and the destruction of a family. This is the work of satan the devil. The family is the basic unit of society, and satan is up to destroy the whole human society. So, our first line of defense against the caprices of satan is to keep the family intact.
Wounds, physical or emotional, can be healed by time, as an old song says “…but time can bring a change of heart; and love can make another start. Someday you may comeback to me to stay; but who can say how soon?” But by God’s power a wound can instantaneously be healed the soonest possible time.
How? Faith in God’s word can erase bitterness, anger, hatred, jealousy, and the likes. Remember the prayer “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”?
14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Committing adultery and fornication is not only a sin against God and against the spouse, but a sin against the body of the offender.
1 CORINTHIANS 6:18
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
You may ask why a person can sin against his own body. The answer is simple. Smoking, drinking intoxicating liquor, abuse of eating (gluttony), and the use of prohibited drugs is against one’s own being. Gluttons practically kill their own body, plaguing their bodies with cardiovascular diseases because of uncontrolled consumption of foods. Gluttony is evil, biblically speaking.
Take heed to yourselves, that your hearts be, at no time, stupefied by gluttony and ebriety and worldly care; and so that day come upon you unaware.
20 Be not among winebibbers; among riotous eaters of flesh:
21 For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags.
The spread of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD) to so many millions around the world is mainly due to infidelity and disregard of God’s Law.
Today, there are 37 million people worldwide living with HIV/AIDS. In the past 25 years, 20 million people have died from AIDS. By 2010, 44 million children will have been orphaned by the disease. Despite recent gains in medicine, 3 million people with AIDS died in 2003. (http://aidsresearcher.typepad.com/)
Hepatitis B In the World (http://www.hepb.org/hepb/statistics.htm)
* 2 billion people have been infected (1 out of 3 people).
* 400 million people are chronically infected.
* 10-30 million will become infected each year.
* An estimated 1 million people die each year from hepatitis B and its complications.
* Approximately 2 people die each minute from hepatitis B. Hepatitis B In the United States
* 12 million Americans have been infected (1 out of 20 people).
* More than one million people are chronically infected .
* Up to 100,000 new people will become infected each year.
* 5,000 people will die each year from hepatitis B and its complications.
* Approximately 1 health care worker dies each day from hepatitis B.
As the number of domestic cases in Canada dwindles, imported syphilis will become increasingly important. More prevention efforts should be targeted at travellers and immigrants as an estimated 12 million syphilis cases occur worldwide. http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/publicat/epiu-aepi/std-mts/syph_e.html
Prevalence of Gonorrhea: Each year approximately 650,000 people in the United States are infected with gonorrhea. In 1999, the rate of reported gonorrhea infections was 132.2 per 100,000 persons. (Source: excerpt from Gonorrhea: DSTD) … An estimated 650,000 cases of gonorrhea, caused by Neisseria gonorrhoeae, occur annually in the United States. (Source: excerpt from Sexually Transmitted Diseases Statistics, NIAID Fact Sheet: NIAID) … In 1997, 324,901 cases of gonorrhea in the United States were reported to the CDC, a case rate of 122/100,000. (Source: excerpt from Sexually Transmitted Diseases Statistics, NIAID Fact Sheet: NIAID)
We must consider surrounding circumstances before we can say that adultery and fornication are grave sins. This is the guide I will give you: Any sin committed by humans outside of the knowledge of the truth can be forgiven by God; and if God can forgive such, the more we must forgive.
1 TIMOTHY 1:13
Who was before a blasphemer, and a persecutor, and injurious: but I obtained mercy, because I did it ignorantly in unbelief.
We must also consider the situation surrounding the commission of such acts. Was it intentionally done by your partner; or was he or she forced by someone who initiated the act. Whatever the case may be, my belief is that God can undo things that were done by humans.
A torn garment can be mended; but “how can you mend a broken heart”? Here’s how:
MATTHEW 9:16 (RSV)
And no one puts a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch tears away from the garment, and a worse tear is made.
The patch that can be used to cover the tear or repair the damage done by infidelity is fidelity. The patch of fidelity is love. If you really love your partner, you have all the reasons and courage to forgive, especially, if he or she has not yet received the knowledge of the truth.
1 CORINTHIANS 13:7 (RSV)
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
David had committed infidelity when he took the wife of Uriah, but he repented, did not repeat it again, and was forgiven.
I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the LORD; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah.
To forgive and to forget is attainable by the human mind and heart. God, with an eternal memory, can forgive and forget our sins that we committed against him.
For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.
The only advice I can give is the advice given in the Bible, which states:
1 CORINTHIANS 7:11
But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
I believe in the song “Love is lovelier the second time around”, especially if that second time is coupled with faith and trust in God’s word that can instantaneously heal the wound in your heart.
May God help you.