Not Grudge but Love and Gratefulness to Parents

1/25/2020 12 Comments

Why forgiving your parents is a way to salvation

Often have I come across sons and daughters who, due to certain reasons, have developed grudges against their parents.

Definitely, it is not right for children to develop and harbor negative feelings towards their parents! And if it already exists, it must be rid of right away. How?

The primary thing that children must do is to think and ponder. Ask yourselves, had your mother and father not fallen in love with each other, do you think you would come to existence? If God did not use them to be His instruments to your existence, do you think you would be born?

As we know, a human being is formed when the sperm cell of a man unites with the egg cell of a woman. The sperm cell and the egg cell have 23 chromosomes each. We must realize that all the cells in our body have 46 chromosomes each; only the sperm cell and the egg cell have 23 chromosomes respectively.

However, when the man’s sperm cell with 23 chromosomes meets the woman’s egg cell with 23 chromosomes after sexual intercourse, a cell with 46 chromosomes is formed. This cell will then divide into many cells, until a fetus is formed. And this fetus becomes a child that grows in the womb of a mother.

My point is, had it not for your mother and your father who contributed 23 chromosomes each, there wouldn’t be a “you” today. In other words, next to God, you owe your life and existence to your parents. So, why bear a grudge against them?

To children who have grudges against their parents, please take note of this. No matter how bad your parents are in your sight, no matter what it is that they had done that caused you deep pain, it is best that you forgive them and forget whatever they did that hurt you. Instead of remembering their shortcomings that only embitter you, why not remember instead the good things that they had done for you?

Actually you have so much to be thankful for to your parents. Foremost is, they reared you; they took care of you even from the time that you were still in the womb of your mother; and they raised you the best way they could. Proof to that is, you are still alive until this very moment, and with God’s mercy, you are without any physical deformity or any physical disability.

I don’t think that any son or daughter would ever survive and be what they are today if their parents had been cruel to them all their lives. Remember, no human being will ever survive if nobody will take care of him.

Humans are not like tortoises. When a mother tortoise lays eggs on the seashore, she will just cover the eggs with sand and then leave. After a certain period, the eggs will hatch, and soon after, you can see young tortoises frolicking in the sea right away. We can be sure that, so long as no predators will victimize them, the young tortoises will live even without being attended to by their mothers.

The same is true with newly-hatched chicks. They, too, can manage on their own even without being fed and cared for by hens. They will be able to survive so long as they won’t be devoured by rats, dogs, and cats.

But it is a totally different thing with humans. An infant has to be breastfed by his mother, he has to be taken care of, and he has to be watched over, day and night. A baby grows and continues to live because there are hands that feed him, cuddle him, and protect him. And those are the hands of his parents.

If, later on, the child felt that his parents had not been good parents to him for they failed to provide him with a good education and other comforts in life, nonetheless, those could not outweigh all the good deeds and sacrifices made by his parents when he was growing up. He must not feel bad especially if their failure to provide him with a comfortable life or a good education was due to their limited financial resources, and not because they loved him less.

Every child must always show appreciation and gratitude to his parents. As what the “Pasyon” says, “Even if the bones and flesh of a child would be ground into tiny pieces, it wouldn’t be commensurate to the sacrifices and hardships endured by his parents just to raise him.”

English Translation:
This you should be anxious of
And remember oft
The sufferings, pains and all
That in patience were borne
By your father and mother
Even if you finely ground
All the flesh and bones you have
Include the hairs on your body too
It will never be enough to repay
All the pains they bore for you
If you will not change
Your rebellious state
You will not find grace
Instead, invite the hate
Of the Lord our God

Besides, God is displeased with ungrateful children. In the Bible, children who were disrespectful and did not show gratitude to their parents went astray.

However, it is a reality that there are children who have the tendency to be rebellious and ungrateful to their parents. That is why the Bible has a specific admonition to children.

EPHESIANS 6:1-3 (KJV) says,

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
2 Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;
3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

God has a promise to children who honor their father and mother: they will live long on earth.

So, if there is a deep-seated anger or hatred or bitterness in your heart towards your parents because they failed to live up to your expectations, or they have done you wrong, you better get rid of that feeling if you want to be a recipient of God’s promise.

Moreover, the word of God has the power to convert an ill feeling into something pleasant and beautiful. With God’s help, you can replace the anger that you feel with respect; and your hatred and bitterness, with love. That is very possible to happen because the word of God is capable of altering our thoughts and feelings.

Let me share with you a little story. In the 1980s, I used to be one of the resource persons in the radio program of Mr. Manolo Favis. In one particular broadcast, we were talking about suicide and the people who commit suicide. There I said, “People who commit suicide are stupid! Why will you commit suicide? Why will you put an end to your life when you are not the one who owns it?”

I was unaware that while we were broadcasting, there was one person who turned on his radio just to check the time, and he was able to listen to what I said. He was checking the time because come 10 PM he was going to commit suicide. (It was only about 9 PM then.)

Apparently, he thought of committing suicide because he was also feeling bad about his parents. But when he heard me say that it is stupidity to commit suicide and the people who committed suicide are all stupid, he got enlightened and he decided not to carry out anymore what he planned to do that night.

Later on, that man came to see me personally. He was crying while he was thanking me. He said my statement brought him back to his senses, and had it not been for what he heard from me, he could have ended his life. I was happy deep inside because I saw how the word of God worked in him.

Similarly, the word of God can also work in children who have grudges against their parents. It can make them kindhearted and forgiving sons and daughters. Isn’t it that God also forgives us when we turn back to Him? God forgives all our sins when we repent and submit ourselves to baptism.

ACTS 2:38 (KJV) says,

Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

If God forgives, why can’t you? Remember, God does not sin; He does not commit mistakes; yet He understands and gives considerations to us whenever we commit sins. He forgives us. If God, who does not commit any sin and does not make any mistake, is able to forgive, will it be difficult for you, who sin and make mistakes, to forgive your mother and your father?

MATTHEW 6:14-15 (KJV) says,

14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

When you forgive you will also be forgiven. All the bitterness, all the pain and anguish, and all the things that defile your heart can be cleansed by the word of God.

JOHN 15:3 (KJV) says,

Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.

Those are the words of the Lord Jesus Christ.

JAMES 1:21 (KJV) says,

Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.

Bear in mind, we cannot be with our parents all our lives. When they pass away, it would be then that you will realize how much you love them and how much you want them by your side. And you would wish that you had more time together.

At certain points in my life, I had also wished that my parents were still around. I love my parents very much. My father passed away in the year 2000, and my mother in 2003. During those years, I had so many things to attend to being a leader of a congregation; I had very limited time to spend with them. Until now, I miss both of them, especially when I happened to be in other countries. In my heart, I wished they were with me when I was in Hong Kong, Singapore, the USA, and in other places.

We have no power to turn back the hands of time; therefore, it is best that we make the most out of the time that our parents are still with us.

We only have one set of parents – the man and the woman that God used to bring us forth into this world. Make them feel your love. Doing this does not necessarily require you to spend a single centavo. You can show them your love by being caring and respectful to them at all times. And instead of grudges, let the feeling of appreciation and gratefulness for their unconditional love dwell and prevail in your heart. In addition, you can also show them your love by inviting them to join you in listening to the word of God.

It is good to love your parents; it a commandment of God. Just make sure that your love for them will not exceed your love for God and the Lord Jesus Christ.


  1. I thank God for this blog. I agree with all my heart that we should be grateful and loving towards our parents becuase that is pleasing to God sight.

  2. This letter is the answer to my prayer. I thanked God so much and also Bro. Eli Soriano. Even if I am not a member of your church I'm trying to spend time to listen to your program ANG DATING DAAN. Because I had been praying to God to lead me and my family to the right path to know the true teaching about the word of God. And finally I am able to know His words through the program ANG DATING DAAN. GLORY TO GOD. May God bless Bro. Eli a long & a healthy & a peaceful life. Thank you so much po.

  3. Salamat po sa Dios , naintindihan ko po kahit na English ang pakakasulat

  4. I truly appreciated this, I'm crying while reading the last two to three paragraphs. I wish also too, I have more time with my deceased mother. Thanks be to God.

  5. I say Amen to your explanation..When my natal day comes the first thing I always remember is my parents..who had nurtured me and contributed so much to the "YOU" in me.

  6. Thanks be to God, To God be the Glory.

  7. Salamat sa Dios. My father passed away last year and I miss him. I still have my mother and I show her my love and respect every time. I pray that the Good Lord will grant her fullness of years ahead to spend with us.

  8. it is something to ponder as we forget the sacrifices that our parents make and that they are human too

  9. we have to love our parent why they are still alive, many are disrespectful to their parents and when their parents died they regret doing ill things to their parents, thanks be to God for this wonderful blog hope that all who reads this will start loving their parents wholeheartedly

  10. sana mabasa lahat ng tao. salamat po sa Dios!

  11. Thanks be to God! This blog indeed enlightens me, because I hold grudges against my parent, as my father persecutes me when we were baptized, all of us were baptized but to my surprise, he was persecuting us that's why I hold grudges against Him. But thanks to this wonderful explanation, I will start respecting and loving my parents before I regret it. To God be the glory, may God can guide me and straighten my path for serving Him.